Something Borrowed, Someone Blue
by NCISBONESgirl
Summary: When Kate marries Josh, both her and Castle have to adjust. A collection of significant dates spread out over 9 years about friendship, family, and how the people who really matter always - eventually, inevitably- come back into your life. Caskett.
1. May 14th, 2012

**Okay, so, I know I should be posting a new chapter of my other stories (new "Grief" chapter uploaded tomorrow, promise!), but this little idea took hold of me on Saturday and wouldn't leave me alone. **

**So I started writing, and it grew into this. **

**It's already all the way written, so I'll upload one a day until it's done.**

**Serious Caskett. Esplanie and Ryan/Jenny are mentioned too. **

**I'll also be posting "Songs of the Chapter". You can listen to them while you're reading if you want, but it's not a songfic or anything like that.**

**Song of the chapter: **** "Just Breathe" by Pearl Jam **

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle, or anything affiliated with it. **_

**OK, I'll shut up now. Enjoy. (:**

* * *

><p>May 14th, 2012:<p>

Kate examined herself in the mirror, smoothing the stomach on her gown. Her hands shook and she felt sick to her stomach, but she had no idea why. This was supposed to be the happiest day of her life, right?

And yet, for some reason, her mind wouldn't stop wandering. She thought about her mom, of course. She also thought about her dad and her friends, how unhappy they had all looked earlier, and about how unreal this all felt.

And of course, for a long time, she thought about Castle.

She was trying to push him from her mind when there was a knock on the door.

"It's open." She called.

Castle poked his head in. "Even for me?"

Kate smiled softly. "Yeah. Of course."

"Great." He walked the rest of the way into the room and took her in. His breath caught in his throat, and he felt his heart start to beat faster in his chest. "You're beautiful." He told her, smiling in spite of how much he wished she wasn't doing this.

"Oh, thanks." She said quietly. "It's this dress. It's gorgeous."

"No." Castle corrected, walking forward until he was only a couple feet from her. "I said _you're_ beautiful." He locked eyes with her. "It's got next to nothing to do with the dress, Kate." He explained almost in a whisper.

She smiled at him and took his hand, giving it a squeeze. "Thanks, Rick."

He caught something in her voice, and tilted his head. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah." Kate nodded and offered up an obviously insincere smile. "Everything's perfect."

"Except?"

Kate sighed. He always could see right through her. "It's just…I don't know…"

"Kate, if you're having doubts, now's the time to say them." Castle said seriously. "You can still back out."

"No, no, no, no." She shook her head quickly, turning away and walking over to the couch. "It's not…I mean they're not doubts per se…"

"Then what are they?" He asked her, concern showing in his deep blue eyes.

Kate looked at her hands. "I don't know…it's just that everyone is acting so weird, and I feel sick and…" she trailed off.

"That sounds a lot like doubt to me." He pointed out quietly.

"I'm sure its just nerves." Kate said unconvincingly, glancing up and offering a fake smile. "Besides, everyone's already here." She cast a nervous look at the door.

He began to walk towards her. "Everyone being here isn't a good reason to marry someone."

"That's not why I'm marrying him." Kate insisted, sounding defensive. "Josh is a good man, and he loves me."

"But do you love him?"

The question caught her off guard, and she stared up at Castle, green eyes wide and her mouth opening and closing a few times, the question hanging in the air. "…Yes." She said finally.

Whatever hope that had bubbled up in Castle's chest faded away. "Okay." He nodded, forcing a smile. "Then that's all you'll ever need to know. As long as you love each other, it'll work. You have nothing to be nervous about."

Kate stood and hugged him tightly. "Thanks, Rick." She said again.

"Not a problem." He told her, rubbing her back lightly. "Josh is a lucky man to have you."

She took a step back and walked back over to the mirror and began putting her earrings in. "Don't worry, Castle, you'll find someone."

Castle shook his head. "Once again, not what I meant. I didn't say someone _like_ you, I said – and meant – _you._" He let that sink in for a moment. "If Josh ever stops appreciating that, let me know. Alright?" Then he left.

* * *

><p>Castle sat in the very front row.<p>

He sat next to everyone from the 12th, all of them (even Lanie who stood next to Kate as Maid of Honor) with large and obviously fake smiles that mirrored his own.

He heard everyone gasp when Kate – his Kate – began to walk down the isle, and knew no one, not even Josh, appreciated that beauty as much as he did.

He thought about what their life would have been like. She could have moved in with him, Alexis, and Martha. She was already family, the transition would have been easy, simple, seamless. They would have all played laser tag on the weekends, thrown Halloween parties, and summered in the Hamptons. He would have personally seen to it that she never wanted or needed and was always happy.

And he was sure that her life with Josh would be fine just fine, with a yellow house in the suburbs and two perfect children and a dog. He knew she probably wouldn't be _un_happy, and that she would do things like cook every night, and do laundry on the weekends. She would go to T-Ball games for her kids, and take family trips to Disney World, and celebrate anniversaries at a decent restaurant that she couldn't take her kids to because they didn't like anything on the menu. In all respects, he was certain that her life would be perfect in an almost unreal and separated way.

But Katherine (as of now) Beckett was extraordinary, and she deserved an extraordinary life.

He saw Kate looking at him nervously from the altar, so he sucked it up and gave her a smile and a thumbs up, and sat in the very front row, and watched the woman he loved marry someone else.

It was the hardest thing he ever had to do.

* * *

><p>As she walked down the isle, she felt dizzy, and had to fight to keep the smile on her face and her eyes on Josh, when all she wanted to do was run. Run, and run, and run, and not stop until she was somewhere safe and far away. But she kept moving. Step by step down that isle that looked all too short. She told herself that it was just nerves, and that she would feel better when this day was over, but deep down she knew that wasn't true.<p>

All too soon she stood at the altar in front of Josh, and suddenly a grave sense of reality hit her. This was _it_. If really was a One-and-Done kind of girl, then this was the end of life, as she knew it.

The ceremony went on around her, as she was lost in thought. Josh was good for her. She supposed she loved him, at least in a sense. Being with Josh was…uncomplicated. Easy. Simple. Comfortable. With Josh she didn't have to feel very much at all, so there was almost no risk of getting hurt. Josh was so _normal_. There was nothing to figure out.

She looked out and saw Castle and felt her heart pang. Castle and her would never work. Sad, but true. Maybe if they didn't work together, maybe if she didn't already care so much about him, maybe if she wasn't so terrified of getting her heart broken…she loved Richard Castle with all her heart. She would always feel that way, and she was well aware of that. She just hoped that given plenty of time and a decent alternative she could bear it.

Castle seemed to snap out of his thoughts, and gave her a thumbs up and a smile. So she tore her eyes away from Castle and said, "I do."

It was the hardest thing she ever had to.

* * *

><p><strong>While I was writing this, my Microsoft Word kept wanting to de-capitalize Josh's name. <strong>

**Review for Caskett shipping computers? (;**


	2. August 27th, 2012

**So, I just realized that I'm going to have to post two of these a day to get them published by the time I leave for my two-week vacation, minus my computer. **

**Song of the Chapter:**** "Here Comes Goodbye" by Rascal Flatts **

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle, or anything affiliated with it. **_

* * *

><p>August 27th, 2012:<p>

Kate was standing by their latest victim with Lanie kneeling on the ground next to her and Ryan and Esposito just behind her when her cell warbled. She glanced She glanced at the caller ID and smiled as she flipped it open. "Castle, hey! I called you 30 minutes ago, where are you?"

"At home." He said sounding uncomfortable.

"Okayyy…" she said. "Any reason why?"

"I…I don't think I'll be coming in today."

Kate blinked a few times in disbelief. Castle had never decided not to come in. "Why? Are you sick?"

"No…actually, I don't think I'll be coming in…ever." He took a deep breath.

Kate stayed quiet for a long time, processing. Then she took in a deep, shaking breath of her own. "Castle, come on, don't do this to me."

Ryan, Esposito, and Lanie all exchanged worried looks and listened closely.

"Kate, I'm sorry but…I just can't do it anymore. Gina's breathing down my neck about not getting enough published, and with Alexis starting college she needs me…and it's just…it's for the best if I stop shadowing you." He spoke carefully and hesitantly.

Kate glanced around and took a few steps away from her team's listening ears and lowered her voice. "What happened to 'always'?"

Back in his loft, Castle shut his eyes tightly. He could tell that she was upset, and he had known it was coming, but it was harder than he thought to keep it together when what he really wanted was to apologize profusely, hang up the phone, and take the next taxi to wherever she was. "I still mean it." He said seriously. "And I can't even begin to imagine a time when I don't. Just because we're not working together anymore doesn't mean that that's not still true."

Kate took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. Castle and her were a _team_. She had gotten to the point where she couldn't imagine life without him. He couldn't be backing out now. Not after everything they'd been through. "Rick. Please. _Please_, don't do this to me." She closed her eyes as well.

"It's for the best, Kate." He repeated.

"No, it's not!" Kate raised her voice a bit. "Why do you keep saying that?"

"Because it's true." He insisted. "Listen, I have to go. I'll call you later, okay?" Desperation laced his voice.

"Don't bother." She snapped, and then slid her phone shut with a snap, and marched back over to the scene.

Esposito analyzed her. "You okay?"

"Fine."

"Tell that to your face." Ryan said. "What was all that about?"

"Castle quit." She said shortly. "Lanie, what was the TOD?"

"Around Midnight. Writer Boy quit?" Lanie looked devastated.

As did Ryan and Esposito.

"He didn't even say goodbye…" Ryan shook his head.

Kate sniffed heavily and blinked back the moisture threatening to brim over her eyelids. "You guys don't need me here, do you?"

Esposito shook his head. "No, I guess not."

"Good." Kate said, then hopped in her squad car and drove back to her and Josh's apartment, and promptly fell apart.

* * *

><p><strong>Review if you want to make someone smile. (: <strong>


	3. September 1st, 2012

**I realize that some of these are shorter than normal chapters, but that's just the way this story turned out. My apologies! **

**Also, thank you _so much_ for all the story alerts, favorite stories, and author alerts. You all are awesome!**

**Song of the Chapter:**** "Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum (if I spelled that right).**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle or anything affiliated with it. **_

* * *

><p>September 1st, 2012:<p>

Kate sat on her bed with a photo album that Castle had given her for her birthday; full of various photos he had sneak-taken with his phone. She had been looking at it for the past 45 minutes, unable to close it without feeling totally and completely empty. It had only been 5 days, but she already missed him. It seemed like lately in her life, nothing stayed the same. Work had changed, her home had changed, her friends were treating her differently…everything was different, and she wasn't sure she was fond of it.

"What'cha looking at?"

Kate hurriedly shut the photo album, and looked at Josh, who was standing in the doorway. "Oh, nothing."

Josh smiled a bit. "Castle photos?"

She sighed and opened back up the album. "I just don't know why he quit on me all of the sudden." She shook her head.

Josh sat down on the bed beside her and rubbed the span of her shoulders. "Friends come and go." He said with a shrug.

Kate raised her eyebrows, the corners of her mouth turned up in the faintest of smiles. "That doesn't help me at all."

He chuckled. "Look, I know you and Castle were close, but maybe it's time you let him go. Being sad forever isn't going to help."

"I know." Kate looked at her hands. "He was my partner though, you know?"

"I know." Josh nodded, and then wrapped her in a hug. "But hey, you've still got Ryan and Esposito." He kissed the side of her head. "And you have me."

She nodded. "Thank you."

"I love you."

"Love you too."

* * *

><p>Castle came into his loft, laughing.<p>

Alexis, who was sitting on the couch, looked up. "Dad?" She asked cautiously. "Are you okay?"

"I'm terrific." He beamed at her, and began to pull out his phone. "Wait until Kate hears about this, I –" He stopped short, his face falling, and stopped dialing, setting his phone back on the counter.

Alexis smiled sympathetically. "You okay?"

Castle shrugged. "I will be once I get it into my head that I killed one of the best things in my life."

"Why don't you just call her?" Alexis asked.

"She told me not to."

"She was just upset! I'm sure enough time has passed that she would pick up." Alexis pointed out.

"I just…I can't do it right now." Castle's voice sounded raw and rough. "She's with him now. They're married. I don't trust myself to sit by and not say anything about how I feel for the rest of my life. I'm too late, and it's about time I accepted that."

"Isn't being around her as a friend better than nothing at all?"

"Sometimes. And sometimes it's torture." Castle ran a hand through his hair. "I refuse to mess this up in any way for her. If anyone deserves a normal, happy life, it's her."

Alexis stood up and walked over to her dad and gave him a hug. "Then do me a favor."

"Hmmm?"

She took a step back and locked eyes with him. "Stop letting me find you looking at pictures of her every time I go into your study. It's sad, Dad."

"I'll try, kiddo."

* * *

><p><strong>Review? <strong>

**Also, big changes to come in the next chapter! Stay tuned. (; **


	4. June 11th, 2014

**I have the _best_ readers in the world. I'm 100% sure of it! I'm so humbled by the huge response I've gotten to this story! I'm so glad that you guys are loving it, and I hope you'll continue to read! I love you all(: **

**Song of the Chapter:** **"Picture" by Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Castle or anything affiliated with it, nor do I own "Picture" or it's singers. _**

* * *

><p>June 11th, 2014:<p>

"Nah, man." Esposito was saying as he and Ryan entered the bar. "It's totally the wife."

Ryan shook his head as they took a seat at the bar and motioned for two beers. "What? Were you born yesterday?"

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." Esposito said with a smirk.

"Hell also hath no fury like a man ripped off." Ryan pointed out.

"That sounds like the talk of a man who's not afraid to place a wager on his opinions."

"You're on." Ryan said, shaking his friend's hand.

"Still betting on cases?" A voice came from behind them. "I thought you would have been trained out of that by now."

Both men turned to see a sandy-blonde haired man with shining deep blue eyes smiling at them.

"Castle!" Esposito grinned. "Hey, bro!"

"Hey yourself!"

"How ya been?" Ryan asked.

"Pretty good, can't complain." Castle told them. "You know. What's new with you guys?"

"Well, let's see…" Ryan looked at Esposito and grabbed his hand. "Well…we're together now…"

Esposito nodded.

"Wh-what?" Castle stammered, his eyes growing wide. "That's…I mean I'm…I'm happy for you?"

Esposito and Ryan looked at each other again, and then burst into hysterical laughter, unable to keep up the gag for very long.

"Oh." Castle let out a long breath, seeming to breathe easier. "You guys gave me a heart attack. That would have been too weird."

Esposito grinned. "Come on, man. We had to mess with you. It's been too long."

"Fair enough." Castle conceded, smiling now too. "What's _really_ new?"

"In reality? Let's see…well, Jenny and I just had a baby girl." Ryan said with a proud look on his face. "Her name is Grace." He dug a picture out of his wallet and handed it to him.

"Grace Ryan?" Castle smirked, taking the picture. "Are you going for a string of the most Irish names on the planet?"

"Hey." Ryan said in a mock warning tone.

"Congratulations, though." Castle told him, looking at the picture. "She's beautiful." He handed it back.

"Thanks." Ryan said, tucking it back in place carefully.

"What about you?" Castle looked at Esposito. "Proposed to Lanie yet?"

"Nah, not yet." Esposito shook his head.

Castle raised an eyebrow. "Why not?"

"Things are going good right now." He shrugged. "I'm happy, she's happy. It works for us." He took a drink. "Someday though. What about you Mr. Big Shot? Any big projects since apparently there's been an unofficial end to Nikki Heat?"

"Actually, yes." Castle leaned forward conspiratorially. "I just signed a rather large deal to write about a _certain British spy._"

"No." Ryan said in disbelief. "Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Now that's sweet." Esposito remarked.

"Mmhm." Castle nodded. He paused, and then asked, "How's Kate?"

"Last we heard she's doing good." Esposito told him.

"Last you heard?" Castle chuckled. "You mean when you left work today?"

Ryan glanced uncomfortably at Esposito, and then looked back at Castle. "You didn't hear?"

The smile slid a fraction of an inch. "Didn't hear what?"

"She left, man." Esposito said.

Castle furrowed his brow. "Left what?"

"Everything." Ryan said. "She quit her job and moved out to the suburbs."

"What?" Castle asked incredulously. "Kate would never…you guys are kidding again, right?"

"Wish we were." Esposito frowned.

"Kate loves being a detective. She would never quit. It's a part of who she is." Castle objected.

"Yeah, well. Guess she loves Josh more." Esposito gave a half a shrug. "Besides, she was saying something about it being a better place to raise a family."

Castle swallowed hard. "R-raise a family?"

"Yeah." Esposito nodded. "She left about halfway through her pregnancy."

"Kate has a kid?" Castle's voice sounded weird to his own ears, and his heart plummeted into his stomach.

"…Yeah." Esposito said, realizing just how much Castle had never heard, and how hard it must be to hear it now. "Kid's…what…about a year old now?" He looked at Ryan.

Ryan nodded. "Sounds right." He nodded, and then looked at Castle again. "She got pregnant about a month after you left. It's a boy. Name's Michael."

Castle took a deep breath and stayed silent for a while before saying, "I need a drink." and ordering a beer.

Ryan and Esposito both looked nervous.

"You okay?" Ryan asked.

"Is she happy?" Castle asked seriously. "Honestly?"

"She sounded like it when I talked to her." Esposito said. "Although…"

"Although what?"

Esposito hesitated. "Although, she never sounds as happy as she got whenever she was with you."

Castle's drink was set in front of him and he took a long drink from it, not saying anything for a while. "I can't believe it." He whispered.

Ryan and Esposito said nothing.

"You know, I've done a lot of things in my life." Castle told them. "Some I probably should regret, but letting her go is the only one that I actually do."

"Bro, if you had told her…" Esposito trailed off.

"I know." Castle grimaced. "But she's happy now. That's all that matters." He took another large drink and set the bottle down on the bar, and then took out his wallet and laid a 20 down for all 3 men's drinks. "I'll catch you guys later." Then he got up and left.

"Think he knows she cried when he left?" Ryan asked.

"Nah." Esposito shook his head. "And I'm not going to be the one to tell him."

* * *

><p><strong>Review?<strong>


	5. December 23rd, 2015

**The shortest, and also my favorite. **

**Song of the Chapter:**** "Winter" by Joshua Radin**

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing. See previous chapters. **_

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>December 23rd, 2015:<p>

Kate stood at the bottom of Castle's building and looked up at it, the twinkling lights of the city reflecting off of her face, her breath forming crystals in the air. She buried deeper into her coat and shoved her gloved hands in her pockets. She had almost forgotten how much she loved New York City in the winter. For a moment, she watched the snow fall around her, reflecting on the life she used to lead here. It was surreal, really. While she missed it, she almost felt as though none of it ever happened, and it was all a dream.

She lowered her gaze to the mass mailbox in front of her, and she pulled her left hand out of her pocket, clutching an envelope. She took a deep breath and smiled at the almost melancholy moment. She missed him, but most of all, she remembered him. She felt the freezing metal through her covered fingertips as she slipped the envelope into his mail slot. She looked back up at the building, and stood there for a moment more. "Merry Christmas, Castle." She whispered, and then hailed a taxi.

The envelope that she had put in was blank on the outside. It bore no return or sending address, and no name. Inside the envelope, however, was a Christmas card. In it, in her all-too-familiar handwriting, was written:

"I hope you're having a beautiful life. You deserve it."

* * *

><p><strong>Review?<strong>


	6. September 30th, 2017

**Oh my goodness. You guys! I don't check my email for a day, and it's flooded. You all are the absolute greatest! I meant what I said earlier about having the best readers around, I really did. I'm so grateful, thank you. 3**

**Long chapter! Things start heating up...NOW! **

**Song(s) of the Chapter:**** For the first part: "Say" by John Mayer. For the second part: "Bright Lights" by Matchbox Twenty.**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle, any of the songs or artists above, or anything affiliated with them.**_

**_Enjoy!_**

* * *

><p>September 30th, 2017:<p>

Castle stood in line at the coffee shop, yawning. He was up far too early for someone who had been up into the small hours of the morning writing, and he was going to need this caffeine jolt if he wanted to get through his meeting with Gina.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when the man in front of him turned enough that Castle caught the full profile of his face. "Josh?"

Josh turned around to face him. "Oh. Hey. Castle." He forced a polite smile.

"Hey." Castle offered a genuine smile. He was a huge part of Kate's life, so if she liked him, he liked him. "How've you been?"

Josh shifted, obviously a bit uncomfortable. "Oh, you know, I've been better." He shrugged. "Yourself?"

"Tired." Castle said with a chuckle. He glanced around the coffee shop, his eyes quickly searching for a specific face. "Where's Kate?"

Now, Josh looked more than a little uncomfortable. "She's not here."

"Oh." Castle said, disappointed. "Well, tell her I said 'hello' then."

Josh hesitated. "You should probably tell her yourself. We're getting divorced. I'm living up here now."

Castle felt his eyes grow a bit wider. "She's leaving you?"

"Other way around." Josh told him. "Listen, Castle, it's been nice catching up and all, but I'm running late." He grabbed his coffee and began to set out the door.

"Josh!" Castle called after him.

"What?" He asked impatiently, one hand on the door handle.

"You are, by far, the dumbest man I have ever met." Castle told him, beginning to walk forward. "I don't know why you're leaving Kate, and you know what? I don't care. Because whatever half-assed reasons you've come up with, you're wrong. Kate is perfect. And through everything, through her own doubt, through you constantly being gone, she stuck with you. If you ask me, you became the problem when you forced her to quit the job that she loves more than anything – taking away the city's finest detective in the process – and making her live in the suburbs! That's not who she is, and that's not who she'll _ever_ be. But from what I've heard, she's tried to change for you. Attempted to adapt. And you're leaving her?" He shook his head. "Maybe it's a good thing you're leaving since you obviously don't know her at all."

Josh looked angry. "You done?"

"Not even close, but I'll hold back the rest because it doesn't bear repeating in polite society."

Josh rolled his eyes and pushed out the door.

The whole coffee shop began to clap.

* * *

><p>Later that day:<p>

Castle drove slowly, trying to keep calm. He hadn't been able to focus all day, and had done mundane and useless things trying to shake Kate from his mind. Finally, around 6 p.m., he made a call to Esposito to get her new address.

Which was where he was headed now.

In truth, he had no idea what he was going to say. He was more concerned with just making sure that she was okay. Making sure that someone was there for her. Just like he promised all those years ago.

As he drove, his mind waged a war between turning around now, and driving on. While his mind had been made up when he got in the car, now it was filled with doubts. They hadn't spoken in over 5 years. What if she didn't want to see him? What if she didn't appreciate him getting involved in her life? What if he was the only one of them who had never stopped thinking about the other?

But he had to see her. The thought of her hurting was too much to bear. So, he turned into a neighborhood about an hour away from the city that was full of nearly identical houses with neatly trimmed hedgerows, manicured gardens, and perfect lawns with a sign boasting the title "Lilac Meadows" at the entrance.

He drove through the streets, making _Desperate Housewives_ references to himself while he looked for her street. When he found it, it wasn't long until he found her house.

He had to double-check the numbers to make sure it was the right one.

It was literally exactly like the one he had always pictured in his head. The house stood two stories high, and was painted a pale yellow with white shutters and trim. It had a huge front porch with a wooden porch swing and a stained glass screen door, which opened to reveal a perfect, heavy, wooden front door. It had stepping stones leading from the driveway up to the porch, and large shade-providing tree in the front yard.

He took a deep breath and got out of his car, forcing himself to put one foot in front of the other until he was at her door. _Here goes nothing_. He thought, and then rang the doorbell.

Somewhere inside the house he heard Kate's voice say "Coming!" It wasn't long after that that the door opened to reveal a woman holding the hand of a small boy, who simply stared at the new comer. "Castle?"

His face split into a wide grin. "Hey, Kate."

"Hey!" She laughed incredulously and let go of the child's hand, and opened the door wider. "Come in!"

As soon as the door was shut, they wrapped each other in a large (and rather long) hug.

Castle took a step back, but put his hands on her shoulders and looked at her. The long, perfectly curled brown hair that he remembered was now shoulder length and straight. She wore no make-up, and no shoes. Instead of work appropriate attire she wore jeans and an orange cardigan with a brown shirt underneath. He noticed that her wedding and engagement rings were missing from her left hand, that she still wore her mother's ring and her father's watch, and that her eyes were as green as ever. "You're still beautiful."

"You're not half bad yourself." She smiled at him. "What are you doing here?"

"Just wanted to see you." He shrugged. "It's been a while."

Kate nodded. "That it has."

The child tugged at the bottom of his mother's cardigan. "Mommy." He whispered loudly. "Who's that?"

Kate laughed and crouched down next to him. "Michael, this is Mommy's very good friend Rick." She looked at Castle. "Rick, this is my 5-year-old, Michael."

Castle nodded to him. "Nice to meet you."

Michael let go of Kate's cardigan and thrust his hand forward. "You too."

Castle glanced at Kate, amused, and then shook the small boy's hand.

Kate stood. "Michael, why don't you let me catch up with my friend for a little bit?"

He nodded once. "Okay!" He said, and then ran off.

Kate looked at Castle. "Why don't you hang your coat up and I'll make you a cup of coffee?"

Castle did so, and then followed her into the kitchen in the next room, smiling. "Good to know one thing hasn't changed."

She glanced at him over her shoulder. "Yeah?" She asked, pouring him a cup and setting it in front of him, then pouring one for herself and returning to the counter, leaning against it with her elbows. "And what's that?"

"You still mainline caffeine." He said. Taking a sip.

Kate laughed lightly, wrapping both of her hands around her mug. "I haven't really changed that much." She said. "I'm still me, just a more…_condensed_ version."

Castle chuckled. "Then I'll bet you have a _lot_ to let out."

"You have no idea." She said with a smirk. "But it gets easy to ignore after a while." She gave a short laugh. "I'm domesticated and family friendly."

Castle looked at her for a while before asking, "Are you happy, Kate?"

Kate thought for a moment. "Happy is such a strong word." She looked down at her coffee. "I'm…content. I'm comfortable. Or I was, I suppose, now that we're getting divorced." She shook her head and took another sip of coffee.

"Why _are_ you getting divorced?" Castle asked.

"Something about 'just not feeling anything anymore'." She gave a cold chuckle. "I didn't know he felt that much in the first place."

"What do you mean?" He prompted gently.

"I don't know…" Kate ran a hand over the handle of her mug. "It's just that I never really felt anything…strong, for Josh. I guess I just assumed he felt the same way."

"I don't think anyone can feel neutrally about you." Castle smiled warmly at her.

She looked up at him and smiled as well. "You're sweet."

"I'm honest."

The lapsed into silence for a moment, just looking at each other.

"How've you been, Rick?" Kate asked softly.

"Alright, I suppose. Life's been…quiet." He took a sip of his coffee. "Alexis just graduated college, and she's living in Virginia. My mother finally invested in property and moved out. Which just leaves me in the loft alone." He shrugged. "I have a boring life."

"Richard Castle has a boring life?" Kate looked at him skeptically. "Hah. I have a _very_ hard time believing that one."

"You'd be surprised."

"Even with the books?"

"Even then."

"Huh." She hesitated. "Speaking of books…why haven't you written another Nikki Heat one?"

Castle looked at her for a moment, a small smile creeping onto his face. "You still read my books."

Kate rolled her eyes. "God, Castle, I never _stopped_ reading your books."

"Really?" He asked in disbelief.

"You caught me reading _Heat Wave_ in a restroom stall." She reminded him.

Castle grinned at the memory. "Your face was priceless."

She shook her head. "I'm serious, I'm curious! If you're not going to write another book, you've at least got to tell me what happened."

He paused. "Nikki Heat got married. And Rook realized that in order for her to be happy, he had to let her go."

Kate bit her lip. "That's not a good ending."

He shrugged, looking sad. "Such is life."

Concern showed on Kate's face. "Hey, what happened to you being the optimistic one?"

"There comes a time when you have to stop kidding yourself, and accept what's in front of you." Castle told her.

Kate frowned. He had always been her sun, in a way. No matter how pessimistic she got, he would always make her look on the bright side, or, at the very least, make her laugh. To see him this sad, this defeated, this _worn_…it hurt her. She felt like she owed it to him to cheer him up. "Why don't you stay for dinner?" She asked softly.

Castle smiled gently. "I don't want to impose." He said and stood, beginning to walk back to the door.

Kate reached out and grabbed his hand to stop him. "Rick, please don't go." She locked eyes with him. "I…I've missed you." She admitted. "Let me make you dinner."

He stated back into her eyes for a minute, then his face lit up suddenly. "I have a better idea." He told her, letting go of her hand and walking to the door.

Kate followed, curious.

Castle hurriedly slid on his jacket. "When was the last time you didn't cook your meal?"

She thought for a moment. "I don't remember."

Castle grinned. "Don't cook anything. I'll be back in a couple hours." He walked out the door and began walking to his car.

"A couple hours? Castle, where are you going?" Kate asked, leaning out the door.

"You'll see!" He got in his car and started.

"And when did you buy a car?" Kate called out after his door had already shut.

Castle gave her a thumbs up and backed out of her driveway.

* * *

><p>Kate was seated on her couch, reading while Michael sat next to her watching T.V., when the doorbell rang.<p>

She peered in the direction of the door over the top of her book, slowly setting it down.

"I told you he would come back." Michael said, looking at his mother.

"Hush, you." She ruffled his hair, then stood and went to the door, opening it to let Castle in.

He walked into the kitchen and set a bag down on the counter. "Tah-dah!" He announced as Michael came wandering into the kitchen as well.

Kate crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. "Tah-dah?"

"I have brought you, my dear detec-" He stopped short and paused. "My dear _Kate_, authentic, New York City, Chinese takeout!" he began pulling cartons out of the bad and setting them out.

Kate couldn't stop the smile from spreading across her face. "You drove two hours to bring me takeout?"

Castle unloaded the last carton, and crumpled up the bag and threw it away. "Yeah." He said as if it were the simplest thing in the world.

"I've never had this kind of food." Michael informed Castle, climbing onto a barstool so that he could see.

Castle looked at Kate. "He's never had Chinese?'

"He's had it homemade." Kate said defensively. "Michael, remember the chicken that Mommy made you that you liked a lot? With the rice?"

The child took a moment to place the dish. "Oh." He said finally. "I remember. That was good."

"This is so much better, little man." Castle told him.

Kate shot him a look.

Castle winked at her, and then handed a carton to Michael. "I think you'll like this one."

Michael looked hesitantly at the carton. "What is it?"

"Try it and find out." Castle raised his eyebrows. "Unless you're too scared, of course."

Michael puffed out his chest. "I'm not scared of anything!" He announced and went in the dining room.

Castle smiled as Kate laughed, and then said, "It's good to hear you laugh again."

"It's good to be able to." She said honestly. "What did you give him?" She asked, looking in the direction of the dining room.

"Sweet and Sour chicken."

She looked back at him. "How did you know what he'd want?"

"Alexis wouldn't eat anything but that from a Chinese restaurant until she was 10. It's like the Chinese takeout version of chicken nuggets and ketchup. I figured it'd be a safe bet with kids." He shrugged. "And for you…" he held up a carton until she could only see his eyes over the top of it.

"What is it?"

"Your favorite."

"Which is?"

"Open it."

Kate snatched the carton from his hands and smiled for what felt like the millionth time that night. "Lo mein from Cho's." She looked at him. "You remembered that?"

"Of course." He said with a small smile.

"Thank you." Kate said. "Not just for this. For everything."

"Anytime." Castle told her.

She grabbed a pair of chopsticks off the table and began to head in the other room when Castle grabbed her hand, making her stop and face him.

"About what you said earlier…" he began. "I missed you too."

"I know, Castle." She told him tenderly, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. "Let's go eat."

* * *

><p>Around 10 P.M. they all say on the couch, watching a movie. Michael was snuggled up, fast asleep, to Kate, who stroked his head absentmindedly. And somehow, Castle's arm wound up around Kate, her head on his shoulder.<p>

For both of them, it was the most whole they had felt in a long time.

They had spent most of dinner reminiscing, telling Michael tales about the other one.

Kate made sure Michael knew how all-around great Castle was.

And Castle mad sure to tell Michael about all the cool things his mom had done as a detective that he was sure she never told him.

And after Kate woke Michael up after the movie and put him to bed, they talked some more.

They talked about Esposito, Ryan, and Lanie. About Montgomery, and dirty bombs, and L.A. They talked about Alexis and Martha and about life. Kate brought up poker, and Castle brought up Russian accents. They discussed apartments being blown up, being held captive, Christmas cards, and monkey-peed-in-battery-acid coffee.

And by the time everything was said and done, it was 2 o'clock in the morning.

"I should get some sleep." Kate said reluctantly. "I have to start packing tomorrow."

Castle furrowed his brow. "Where are you going?"

Kate let out a long sigh. "Hell if I know." She shook her head. "I'm a stay-at-home mom, Rick. I can't afford an apartment of a hotel room because I have no source of income, and I can't get a job if I have to say I don't have a residence, which means that Michael and I have nowhere to go…well, I guess I should say _I_ have no place to go…Michael can always live with his dad for a while I suppose…" Her voice got quiet with the grief of the possibility of having to part with her child, even for a little bit, and her eyes shone with tears.

"Why do you need to find a new place?" Castle asked.

"Josh's name is the one on the house, and apparently he wants it. He gave me a month." She shook her head. "It's amazing what you learn about a person in a divorce." She looked at her hands.

Castle stayed quiet for a while, and then said, "Well…you could always come home."

Kate looked up at him.

"To New York City." He elaborated.

"I wish." She sighed. "No way I could swing that."

"You don't have to." Castle stated as if it were obvious.

Kate looked at him, clearly confused.

"I have a nearly empty loft." Castle reminded her. "I would love to have you and Michael for as long as you like. No rent needed." He smiled at her.

Kate hurriedly stood up from her chair and walked the few steps to Castle's, put her hands on either side of his face and kissed him. She kept her face close and whispered, "Thank you."

"Always." He said quietly, then gently put a hand on her neck and brought her lips back to his and kissed her again.

For a while.

* * *

><p><strong>Review? (:<strong>


	7. October 15th, 2020

**Well, my dear readers, we have reached the end. I'm so glad that so many of you have enjoyed this story so much! I hope you'll love the very end just as much. I'm going to go ahead and dedicate this last chapter to all of you. (: **

**Song of the Chapter:**** "Marry Me" by Train. **

_**Disclaimer: Still don't own Castle, or the song above, or anything affiliated with them.**_

**_Enjoy!_**

* * *

><p>October 15th, 2020:<p>

"Bro, you smile anymore and it's gonna get stuck." Esposito said with a smirk.

"I can't help it." Castle said with a shrug. "I'm _marrying_ this smart, beautiful, brave, sexy, incredible woman." He shook his head and chuckled. "I'm still waiting to wake up."

"Alright, lover boy, we get it." Ryan said jokingly. "I'm starting to think you can't talk about anything _but_ Beckett."

"You actually expect me to on my wedding day?" He raised an eyebrow. "Besides, you're one to talk. You were the same way when you married Jenny."

Ryan opened his mouth to object, and then realized this was fact.

Castle stayed silent for a moment. "This all just feels so _right._" He looked at his friends. "It didn't feel this way before my other weddings. Kate's…Kate's the one." He smiled again. "God, I love her."

Esposito smiled too. "Good…because, ah…if you hurt Beckett, we're going to have to kick your ass."

Ryan nodded. "No offense."

"None taken." Castle chuckled.

Jim Beckett came from the back room at that moment. "And if you don't do it, I will." He added. "Castle, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Castle looked a bit surprised. "Um, yeah. Yeah, sure." He stood up, and followed the older man into the back room.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this?" Jim asked him.

Castle looked taken aback. "Of course." He shook his head.

"You're sure?"

"I've never been more sure about anything in my life." Castle told him seriously. "I love your daughter more than I ever knew it was possible to love someone. I would do anything for her. That includes, as a very real possibility, dying for her. I know from first hand experience, that my life without her is nothing, and on some level, I knew I would love her from the moment I saw her." He paused, thinking of how to word what he was trying to say. "Kate is an unbelievable woman. I honestly don't think there's anything that she can't do. And all I want is to spend the rest of my life making her feel…loved."

Jim analyzed Castle for a moment. "You know, Castle? You're all right. I always did like you better than that Josh fellow. When I came in here and asked him the same thing, all he said was he loved her."

"I take pride in the fact that I'm not him." Castle smiled.

Jim laughed, and clapped him on the shoulder. "Alright then. I'll get out of your hair." He began to walk away.

"I hope you'll be a part of the family." Castle called after him.

He stopped and turned around. "I'll be related to you." He pointed out.

"Not what I meant." Castle shook his head. "I mean I hope you'll come over for things like Christmas and Thanksgiving. I hope if Kate and I ever have children that they'll spend a lot of time with you. You mean a lot to Kate, and I don't want her to have to choose between us."

Jim smiled broadly at him. "Thank you." He told him sincerely. He had taken a few steps before he turned once more. "Oh, and you might want to know that your friends out there bet on if you would marry Kate."

Castle laughed.

* * *

><p>Kate examined herself in the mirror, smoothing the stomach on her gown.<p>

"Girl, you look gorgeous." Lanie said in a singsong voice behind her.

Kate grinned. "You really think so?"

"Mmhm." Lanie nodded. "You're going to blow that boy's mind."

"Yeah?" Kate bit her lip. "I hope so."

"I know so, Mrs. Castle." Lanie said with a wink.

"I'm not taking his name." Kate rolled her eyes.

Lanie looked at her skeptically. "Writer Boy goes all fairytale wedding on all of us, and he's okay with you not taking his name?"

"Well, we both agreed that since I'm not leaving the precinct anytime soon, it's easier to keep my own name since nobody's ever known me as anything but Beckett except for the few months I was Detective Davidson, and even then people took to just not saying my name. It's easier for everyone. Besides…" she looked down and tried to suppress a grin. "Rick told me that all that really matters is that I'm his."

Lanie gaped at her. "No he did not." She said in disbelief. "That boy is too romantic. If Javi knew half of what he did…"

"Esposito loves you." Kate told her, still smiling. "He does his best."

"I know, I know." Lanie waved a hand. "But we've been together for almost 10 years! Why hasn't he proposed yet? I mean, seriously. We live together, we go grocery shopping together, and we even have a damn dog. The only way we could be more married is if there was a ring on my finger."

"Maybe he's afraid you'll say no." Kate pointed out.

Lanie considered this. "I never thought of that."

Kate could have told her friend that Esposito had been planning to propose on their 10-year-anniversary for months now, but she didn't.

The door opened and Alexis came in, in a dress identical to Lanie's, along with Jim Beckett.

"Kate, you look beautiful!" Alexis chirped, smiling.

"Thank you, Alexis." She smiled back at the 27-year-old.

"She's right." Jim said, putting a hand on Kate's shoulder. "You're stunning."

Kate's face softened. "Thanks, Dad."

Jim shook his head. "I can't believe my Katie is getting married."

"I've done it before." She reminded him.

He waved a hand. "That wasn't a marriage, that was an agreement."

"Is that why Rick was the only one who came to see me right before last time?" She looked at everyone in the room.

"Girl, we didn't trust ourselves to keep our mouths shut." Lanie informed her.

Kate shook her head and smiled, unable to be mad, and looked back at her dad.

"You love him?" He asked her.

Kate looked curiously at her dad. "Of course."

"You're sure?"

She smiled a bit more. "Rick has always been there for me. He's never broken a promise. He's loving, and kind, and a great person. He makes me laugh even when everything's going wrong…hell, he's the whole reason Mom's case is closed. I just, I had this feeling the first time I met him that he was special. I've never felt like this about anybody else. He's a wonderful dad, and he always knows what to say. He's exactly who I want to be with for the rest of forever."

He stayed silent for a moment. "Your mother would be so proud of everything you've become."

Kate looked at her hands. "Do you um…" she swallowed hard. "Do you think she would like him?"

Jim nodded. "I do. She might think he was a little odd, mind you…"

Kate laughed lightly.

"…But she would love him. If nothing else, just for how well he treats you." Tears sparkled in his eyes. "And how much he loves you."

Kate nodded and a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Don't cry, Katie." Jim soothed, brushing the tear away with his thumb.

"I just wish she were here." Kate almost whispered.

"She is. Somehow." He told her. "Your mother wouldn't miss this for the world."

She wrapped her dad in a long hug, and then took a step back, taking a deep, steadying breath.

"How do you feel?" Jim asked her.

She thought for a moment, and then smiled. "Ready." She said, and nodded.

"Good." Jim linked arms with her. "It's time to go."

* * *

><p><strong>One last review? (: <strong>


End file.
